[ISABELA FONSECA NORONHA]

Yes, if I notice my opinion changes with time and then I notice other thing, juddding perhaps it is not a opinion,,, seems to be a verdict so if I notice something I don’t agree I give space this thing can change and if I judge maybe not… I don’t know,,, my first question to Rinpoche was that,,, how to don’t judge instantly,,  he answered,,  -Practice!,,, with time I try to get this sutil difference between both,, but my tendency is right in a way to put a name,,, to separate what I like and what I don’t like and I think it is not wrong, because in a certain way I ha to know what to accept and what to reject… And then I think it is not difficult to find this balance you just told,,, with dignity and compassion.  Thank you…  For discussion group

[Bruce Cowen]

Generally, there are lots of things that happen in the mind when watching or relating to anything. There are always lots to see, understand and/or comprehend. This is especially true when you are relating to or watching other people. There are always lots of things to notice. I have found that as long as the mind is loving, kindly or compassionate, the mind doesn’t drift to being judgmental or judging at all.

[Matthew Zalichin]

I generally relate these issues to meditation practice.  The practice of noticing without judging begins with how we can relate to our discursive thoughts during shamatha practice.  As we continue to explore that practice, including longer sessions as Rinpoche has been encouraging, it seems that even on the cushion there is never any guarantee that subtle judgment is not creeping in.  Being aware of this continual not knowing if I’m judging or not, and relaxing within that, is a rich daily life practice.

 

[monlopfer]

Thank you for all your comments, they’ve been most helpful. I especially thought about what Matthew says: it has to do with how you relate with your discursive thoughts during shamatha practice. I will try to increase my awareness about that. Thanks!

[Andrea Sherman]

For me the noticing seems less emotional than the judging. Judging seems to have an emotional quality to it that carries me away And then, I notice and return. Thanks, Andrea

[guido freddi]

Hi Ilya,

Thanks for bringing up this very interesting topic!

Rinpoche-la here touched a really a big issue in my relationship to others. I noticed how judgement was affecting not only my social and business life but also (and more ambiguously) my private life. I’m married and have 2 kids. I love my wife but i can become moody and react harshly when i JUDGE SHE’S WRONG on some remarks she expresses, especially if i feel i’m JUDGED BY HER. We’ve been married for a long time but it’s only during this last year that i became HONESTLY aware of my reactions. Looking back i always find that the cause of my reactions was ME JUDGING HER about what she was saying or doing, rather than the opposite. “I” produced those negative emotions, no matter if she was right or wrong in her “judgements” on a practical level!  The only ANTIDOTE that works for me is to STEP BACK mentally right away. If i NOTICE she makes a remark on me, i try to never react before to look at how it presently affects my mood: Does that remark produces in me negative emotions and thoughts? I breathe, i immediately cool down, i can see things from her point of view, i can express myself not in “self-defense”, but with the honest aim to fix the problem she’s pointing out… Sometime accepting she’s not the cause of my feelings it’s just an act of faith, but even in this case it cools me down and it’s very rewarding. I believe NOTICING is “writing down a note” of our perception and consequent emotions, and “reading it” honestly before reacting, while JUDGING is reacting to our perception on an emotional wave, always produced by EGO in his “self-defensive” struggle to affirm his existence.

i hope my “2 cents” can be of any interest for the discussion. Big digital hug to all!